Spider Homicide

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In less than a week, I have found two very large, and vicious looking spiders in my home. Normally, I have compassion for tiny creatures. Sometimes I will even go out of my way to save them. For example, I will stop to pick up a slug and save him from being smooshed into concrete. Or , I will try to catch a moth and release him into freedom outside.

My kind-hearted efforts do not apply when it comes to spiders.

I will spot you, dear spiders. Once I have spotted you, I will first cry out into a fit of terror. Then, after finding composure I will plan my attack.

What weapon should I use? Are you small enough for a paper towel? No. Too big. If I hit you with something, will you scurry away to never be found, thus forcing me to move out? Would a shoe kill you? What about a bat?

I did not hesitate when I murdered these two eight legged monsters. One by baseball bat, the other squished by boot.

No remorse, I tell ya. Even if Charlotte herself appeared in my tub...I'd kill her.