It sells cars, beer, shaving lotion, cigarettes, hard liquor; it sells diet plans and diamonds, and desire in crystal bottles. It's on trading cards and billboards, t-shirts and movie screens. It does not merely sell, it is sold.
My body and I have never really been friends. Women today are bombarded with images of the "perfect female body". The ability to shove away that massage, and look in the mirror with pride is something I am still working on.
On a bad day, I'll pick at myself. Staring at myself in the mirror, literally pinching at my parts in disgust. I hate my thighs, my arms are awful…and I don't even want to look at my stomach. Over the years I have identified this behavior as unhealthy, so I will either just avoid the mirror… or I will avoid that bowl of ice-cream.
Unfortunately, I feel the stars have to align for there to be a good day. I have come to realize it's not that there aren't "good days", I just rarely celebrate them. On a good day, my freshly washed jeans will fit without me having to do lunges. I have energy. And honestly, it comes down to whether or not the first outfit I try on looks good; The less time standing in front of the mirror, the better.
I am working on myself. I have a goal I am working towards - it's a healthy goal, nothing crazy. I want to be able to look through a magazine without gawking over the waist of a model. I want to go to the gym and feel powerful, not frumpy. I want to eat that bowl of ice-cream without remorse.
The female body is an incredible machine. Every woman has her own journey to loving herself unconditionally. I am empowered to continue mine.
2 comments:
First off, you are beautiful! In every.single.way. I have yet to meet someone like you and don't think I ever will. I love your creativity, your beautiful mind, and those damn locks that I have drooled over since the day I saw you on that school bus.
We pick at the negatives because that's easy. I mean when was the last time you stood in front of the mirror saying oh man my ass looks good, or wow my legs aren't the 5'3 stubs that has stopped me from so many skirt purchases....?
Seems like we have been brainwashed to envy others and not ourselves because that, as we all know, makes us conceded and narcissistic.
The past year or so I have been deeply struggling with self image, I remember having more confidence! Where did it all go?!
I would like to have that feeling of empowerment, that has seemed to fade, of seeing a beautiful woman and loving her rather than hating myself.
Pretty sure even with skipping bowls of ice cream and extending workouts freshly washed jeans will always require a good lunge and squat.
Again, you are beautiful in my eyes. Oh and those arms you hate so much.... have never let me fall.
Well said sistah ;-)
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