Forgiveness

Pin It

Often times it is easier for me to forgive others than it is to forgive myself. I make efforts to be kind, less critical and gentle to others, but do not pay myself the same grace. Having thought about this topic over the past week, I wrote down this stream of consciousness....  

Forgive yourself the nights you climb into bed full-face of makeup, too tired to take it off. Forgive yourself the days when one latte is not enough, when the two major food groups are coffee and sugar. Forgive yourself that one night when at two AM you woke to use the bathroom and inhaled an entire sleeve of cookies instead. Forgive the time spent with a man you now have not one nice thing to say about. And forgive just how long it took to get over him. He was not good and not kind and he is not your fault. Keep some secrets closer. Forgive yourself for actually loving the gentle curve of your hips. And to hell with a society which suggests you might not or should not. They herald your womanhood… the man you marry will lose himself in them, and they will hoist groceries and children. They are sturdy--anchoring you firmly to this earth. Forgive your tiredness, and the tone in your voice. Forgive the nights you cannot sleep--sadness or some unnamed force pressing heavy on your chest. Forgive mistakes…so you made them. Okay. Enough. Move on. The mistakes and the fault-lines, they are the foundation. Forgive yourself .Forgive the anger you feel. Feel it and then look again with kinder eyes. Forgive yourself for not handling things better, for feeling like you let others down. The path is not done, the road is not finished, why are you trying so hard to rush the whole thing? Send your love into the world and let it fill you up. The only way to know the story is to go out and write it. Live your way into it. Zealously. Begin to live and work and fight and love with an unparalleled ferocity. Let fear dictate nothing. Unfurl your chest; you have all the armor you'll ever need. See with wide eyes and don't forget to smile, and cry while laughing.

Forgiving ourselves is not a selfish way to let ourselves off the hook for behaving badly. Rather, it is the result of looking deeply within ourselves, accepting our mistakes and failures, taking responsibility for our actions, and loving ourselves in spite of it all. Self-forgiveness is a commitment to love yourself no matter what. It’s the generous act of giving yourself a break: Remembering that you’re human. Offering yourself the loving kindness that you might offer, on your best days, to those you love the most, no matter what they’ve done.