Throughout life we are confronted with situations that challenge our confidence. Whether it is a middle school boy trying-out for the baseball team, or a twenty-six year old preparing for an interview… the way we feel about ourselves impacts our performance.
At an early age I developed some form of adaptive coping when I was feeling …well, inadequate. I contribute it to being a military brat and having to change schools a lot. Often times being the new girl in town, I had become accustomed to getting attention and putting myself out there to make friends. I wasn’t confident, really; I just pretended to be. I faked it.
This continued into college when I took leaderships roles on campus. I always had doubts about myself and my ability, but I figured… I must be doing something right. When I interviewed for my first big-girl-job sincerely having not a clue what I was doing, my only option was to figure it out. I needed a job! Then… the biggest one hit me: Getting into graduate school. Doubt flooded over me and I thought for sure I was going to be discovered as an imposter; I didn’t belong there. I’m not smart enough. I am going to fail. Alas, just like every other anxiety-provoking, confident-sucking situation (e.g., roller derby, CrossFit)… I put on my “I’m a badass face” and faked it ‘til I made it.
A friend of mine shared this video with me and it introduced a new idea: Fake it ‘til you become it. Amy Cuddy is absolutely right. In my experiences I held my head high despite of self-doubts, and never paused to realize I wasn’t faking it anymore. I’m seventy days away (who’s counting) from graduation, and I still haven’t given myself credit for accomplishing this perceived impossible degree. I am smart enough. Holy crap.
We have the power to influence our own confidence levels just by changing the way we present ourselves to the world. There’s risk involved, of course. But the reward is great. My mama was right all along (imagine that)… “Believe in yourself first, and you can do anything.”
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