Ten Years



October 23, 1983  -  January 31, 2003

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of my stepbrother's death. I can still remember the day we got the news. I can still remember his weird habits, and the ways I annoyed him. I wish I could remember his laugh, or the last thing we said to eachother. He was only 19, and every year that passes I can't help but wonder who he would be today.

We miss you, Tony. And you are forever and always in our hearts.

Girl Crush: Alenka Bullen

I love this girl's voice. She does amazing covers.

Bob Dylan - Duquesne Whistle

I don't care how old he is... Dylan is sexy.

A Disappointed Vegetarian

Valentine’s Day is just a fews week away, and time is of the essence if you want to get a nice table reserved.  Most places offer special menus, and while Noah and I were browsing through our options I began to feel a bit discouraged. Steak. Shrimp. Clams. Rack of Lamb. Meat, meat and more animal.

At the bottom of each menu… the outrageous flat-fee to match the lavish cuisine, and in small print:

NO SUBSTITUTIONS

Great. So I have to pay $60 for the atmosphere and a fennel salad? Has Valentine’s Day always been a meat-eaters holiday? Even the known-to-be-accommodating restaurants in Seattle aren’t offering vegetarian friendly options. What’s going on?!

What’s most frustrating is the ease it takes to accommodate a vegetarian diet. Offer a tofu dish. Take out the meat and add lentils or polenta. Make vegetarian lasagna for goodness sakes! From a smart business perspective - restaurants are losing business by excluding a whole population of eaters.

We ended up making reservations at a cute little tapas place we enjoy. Regardless of my (continued) frustrations of being a vegetarian, I am looking forward to spending Valentine’s Day with my birthday boy.

If you're curious as to why I am vegetarian... You can view that rant here.

I Choose Converse

I have been wearing Converse since grade school. To me, they've always been comfortable and worked with my style. Whatever my style is? I wore them while I served chowder during high school, and I wore them when I sliced bread through college. And now... I stomp them through downtown Seattle. So... You can only imagine my excitement when I noticed  Converse are an encouraged CrossFit shoe. What?!!

In the CrossFit world, choosing Chucks is not necessarily a stylistic decision (which is why I was excited) oh no...apparently there's science behind it, and my favorite shoe is ideal for lifting. As we know, Chucks have a thin, flat, hard sole. During a lift, minimum sole compression takes place before force is transferred to the ground to move heavy weight. A completely flat sole allows you to start, and remain, on your heels throughout the lift movement. 

As CrossFit gains popularity, popular brands are jumping on the opportunity to profit. Reebok is the main one, and they have a specific shoe for lifting.  While I like the shoe... I am not wanting to spend $150 on a pair I only wear to the gym**! I would rather stick with what I know, and design my own pair of Chucks.

Check Out My Design Here!

** I am a shoeaholic. So yes, I would much rather save my pennies and drop money on something I can wear all day, every day. Like these, or these. Or... THESE?

Top 6: CrossFit Goals

This is Noah... Killin' it.

Last weekend Noah competed in his first major CrossFit competition. The event lasted two full days, and he did six workouts! He was amazing!

While spending two days watching elite athletes do incredible things, I became motivated to get fit enough to jump on the competition wagon myself. Eek!

To do this, I have a lot of work to do. So, because I'm a huge fan of making goals and lists... Here you have it.

This is a Muscle Up...eek!

In the next 3 months, I will be working on:

1) Box Jumps: With no hesitation, and 20 completely unbroken.

2) Deadlift: I want to break my 200 LB PR

3) Kipping: in all areas. Rings, pull-ups, wall handstand push-ups....

4) Snatch: I need to get the motions/technique down! 

5) Double-Unders: I haven't even done 1! 

6) Muscle-Up: they are intimidating. But I would love to get strong enough to do a muscle up!

So there you have it. If I really want to compete, I know I will have to dedicate a lot more time to the gym, not to mention make more of an effort to eating cleaner. I'm up for the challenge. :)

A Reminder on Happiness

How does that saying go? I have a lot on my plate right now? Without understanding that idiom myself, I will trust you know what I mean. I have a lot going on, and I am a bit overwhelmed. 

I have my eye on the future. Six months. I will be finishing my last class, completing my practicum hours, my partner and I will be looking for new jobs.... and a new place to live. Meetings. Papers. Resumes. Packing. Phew!

BUT.

While on this quest to attain what I want... I must be mindful of all I have...right....now. If I get tunnel vision and only focus on that light at the end of the tunnel (another idiom?) I lose sight of all the wonderful greatness around me. Sometimes reading this post helps, or making time for meditation. For now, I will jot down the happiness that is all around me, and remember to be zealously in the moment.

♥All my basic needs are met.

♥I am looking forward to a movie marathon with a friend.

♥I have a mom and dad who I know I can call, no matter what.  

♥I love going to the gym!

♥I think my pup understands me.

 

An Independent Woman

Last night I had a fabulous dinner with a friend. Over decadent goat cheese stuffed figs and glasses of wine, we discussed a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately: identifying as an independent woman.

You see, I have been raised this way. I have been encouraged to challenge societal norms, and raised with the mindset that I can do whatever I want with my life. This can be clearly defined as the Generation Y mentality. If you want to go to college, go to college. If you want more education, go get it. Despite my generational stereotype, many women my age face the pressures of finding Mr. Perfect, getting married, and having babies. While I want all those things (I have 1 out of three), I am on my own timeline and have other dreams to fulfill. What’s the rush? I want to travel. I want to become established in my career.  I want to be financially secure. I feel all these things will make me a better person, partner, and mother.

Here’s the issue at hand:

Why are independent women viewed as scary and/or intimidating?

A Tip: How to tell Military Time

Just a quick tip for today.

Military time: It is used all over the world though not much here in North America. I have heard a lot of people have trouble translating the time when listed in military time – or a 24 clock – in their heads. I learned a trick as a kid, and here I am going to share it with you:

All I do is take away 2 from any number listed in military time (above 12) and drop the first number.

Examples:

1300 becomes 1 because 13-2=11. Drop the first 1 and you are left with a 1.

2100 becomes 9 because 21-2=19. Drop the first number from 19, the 1, and you are left with a 9.

I have tried to explain this to other people and they look at me like I’m crazy. To me, this makes perfect sense and I hope it does for you too. :-)

Happy Weekend!!

Friday has finally come!! I was in a training all day, and somehow managed to pay attention! This weekend will be eventful... But I fully intend on sleeping, and giving my mind a rest from thoughts of school and work.

Self-care, here I come!!

Cheers to the weekend!!

Day Twelve

I have overslept. I have missed buses (note plural tense). I have used shaving cream as conditioner. Even ordering coffee has taken effort. If you haven't guessed yet... I'm a little sleep deprived. Today is day 12 of 13. I have not had a day off in 12 days. I am so tired that even when I'm sleeping, I dream about sleeping. I walked passed a display bed in a store and actually contemplated laying in it... "Would anyone notice?" I'm so tired.... You get the point.

Super Suck Sunday

Sucks

1) Going 13 days straight without a day off. Today is day 8..... ugh.

2) As a result of number one... I have no idea where I am supposed to be everyday. I literally had to write a reminder on my hand, “Go to work Friday. Don't get on a bus.” Someday I will have a normal routine.

3) Job searching.Nuff said.

4) Our pup may or may not have ingested a 1-inch long plastic needle. In addition, he gnawed on a container of dental floss with no indication of how much floss he ate... equally shitty....

5) Now we are intently monitoring how/what he shits. Awesome

Super

1) Hand sanitizer. Seriously, this stuff is unreal. I feel like it gives my hands a special germ-free forcefield.

2) Nailing a recipe you made up all on your own. I'll share it here soon. Boom.

3) By no means do I think homelessness is funny. Clearly, as I am currently working 20 hours a week at a homeless shelter.... BUT... the sign I saw a guy holding this morning warranted a chuckle. It read: “Need money for SCUBA lessons. Mermaids kidnapped my family.” I handed him $5 just for his creativity.

4) Having something to look forward to.... like graduation...a massage appointment, or a visit from a friend.Makes the daily grind somewhat bearable.

5) I have become increasingly obsessed with Pho'. It's warm, healthy and delicious. I have it at least once a week. I took this photo via my instagram– cute, huh?

I Heart Pho'

A Poetry Lesson

Over the weekend, I started my LAST class of graduate school. As I am typing this... I am doing a happy dance. Picture rhythmic bouncing in a desk chair. Only three more class sessions to go. 

One of the in-class exercises was to write a poem. Oh, the joys of a social work program. We sit in circles, share our feelings, color with crayons... and write poetry. Our task was to write a Diamante Poem - fancy, huh?

Here's the instructions:
Line 1: one word feeling (subject/noun that is contrasting to line7)
Line 2: two words (adjectives) that describe line 1
Line 3: three words (action verbs) that relate to line 1
Line 4: four words (nouns) first 2 words relate to line 1, last 2words relate to 7
Line 5: three words (action verbs) that relate to line 7
Line 6: two words (adjectives) that describe line 7
Line 7: one word ( subject/noun that is contrasting to line 1)


Here's what I wrote*:

Hopelessness
Unheard, Rejected
Aching, Crying, Yelling
Heartache, Frustration, Compromise, Respect
Listening,Understanding,Comforting, 
Securing, Healing
Hope 

*I just wanted to note that while this poem might seem a bit depressing... the assignment encouraged us to write from the perspective of our clients. 

How it's Made: Hot Dogs

Sorry to post about food again, but this I just had to share.

Again, to answer the question of "Why don't you eat meat?".... here is another reason why:

How can this be called "food"? And... my favorite part is when the narrator says, "Corn syrup adds a dash of sweetness." I love the reframing of trying to make hot dogs sound innocently healthy. Ha. WTF?

Vegan Quinoa & Sweet Potato Chili

Makes about 6 Bowls

Ingredients:

2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained

1 6 oz can tomato paste
1 12oz can crushed tomatos

32 oz vegetable stock

1 onion, chopped

5 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 tablespoon Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute

1 teaspoon oregano

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 sweet potato, peeled and cut into bite sized chunks

1 cup dry quinoa

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Heat the oil in a large heavy soup pot over medium low heat. Add onions, and cook until soft and they start to turn brown (about 10 minutes). Add the garlic, and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the tomato paste, chili powder, T Seasoning, and oregano and cook for about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the beans, stock, and potatoes, and season with salt and pepper . Cook for about 5 minutes, then add the quinoa. Continue cooking for about 15 minutes – 30 minutes, stirring frequently, until quinoa and potatoes are cooked and the chili has thickened. Add a bit of water if the chili becomes too thick for your liking.

Enjoy!!

Top 6: Rules of An Apology

Tendering a genuine apology when an apology is due can go a long way to repair a disconnection following a fight.  Saying “I’m sorry” may sound easy (or for those who are stubborn, maybe not) but there’s actually a right way, and a wrong way to do so. Here's how to apologize wisely and well.

The next time you offer an apology--or, you're on the receiving end of an apology that doesn't cut it-- remember this:

1.  A true apology needs to be sincere. An “I’m sorry.” should not be a quick way to get out of a predicament or a fight.

2. A true apology does not include the word “but” (“I’m sorry, but …”).  “But” automatically cancels out an apology, and nearly always introduces a criticism or excuse.

3. A true apology keeps the focus on your actions—and not on the other person’s response. For example, “I’m sorry that you felt hurt by what I said at the party last night” is not an apology. Try instead, “I’m sorry about what I said at the party last night. It was insensitive and uncalled for.” Own your behavior and apologize for it—period.

4. A true apology doesn’t get caught up in who is to blame and who started it. Maybe you’re only 14% to blame and the other person provoked you. It can still help to simply say, “I’m sorry for my part in this.” 

5. A true apology does not demand or request forgiveness. Of course, you hope that the other person will forgive you. But a true apology does not ask the other person to do anything—not even to forgive. Also a serious hurt or betrayal requires repair work over time, and is never healed simply by saying “I’m sorry.”

6. A true apology requires that you do your best to avoid a repeat performance. Obviously, it doesn’t help to apologize with a grand flourish and then continue the very behavior you are apologizing for; Passionate expressions of remorse are empty if you don’t put sincere effort into ensuring that there is no repeat performance.

BONUS- Number 7: When you are really sorry...Flowers, candy... or even a coffee... never hurts.

Postscript: If the other person is an entrenched non-apologizer, don’t get into tug of war about it. Some people cannot or will not apologize. He or she may have another way of re-connecting after a fight, show you he’s in new place and wants to move on.

Accept the olive branch however it’s offered. Focus on becoming a “good apologizer” yourself and model the behavior you want to see in others.

Take the high road. It’s hard. And it’s worth it.

Now this is funny...

Let the Countdown Begin

162

Is the number of days until I graduate.

Intentions

Just as Mondays are treated as a day to start dieting, the beginning of the year is the time for resolutions. Last year I wrote about my commitments to improving, and with a head hung in shame I have to say I didn't succeed in many of them. I think I set the bar too high. I mean, really...a list of 10 was a bit ambitious! But…I won't call it a total failure.

While I didn't always take the stairs every time, in the year 2012 I did take on CrossFit. I have a list of ways this addiction (seriously, that’s what it is) has changed me. Being a part of this cult culture subjected me to the Paleo lifestyle, and therefore forced me to try new recipes. Lastly, one improvement I am very proud of… I have gained new friendships, and strengthened current ones.  

I will not be creating a list of 10 for this New Year. They seem to be more daunting than motivating.

However, I do have intentions.

In the year 2013…

I intend to remember that everything changes
I intend to practice kindness
And I intend to go bigger, look out, let be and let in love.