If you're sick
broken or addicted
and trying to hold on...
Important thing to remember
get hurt and die or
heal and recover
In which case
everyone can get over it
and you can keep more friends that way
"It’s the hanging around in between that really pisses people off”
their attention span for compassion is limited
they hate to be reminded of being human
It’s not what we do best
It’s not that they don’t care
They do!
They are very happy if you became well
they just want an outcome
they just want to know if they’re going to a funeral or a parade
in which case
their out fits are ready
They do not know what to wear when you are in the middle between dying and recovering
They do not know where to put the emphasis in your name
which direction the corners of the mouth turn
They do not know what to say when co-workers ask casually about you
simple water cooler conversations become eulogies of the person you were
They say your name as if re-enacting the agony you're in
Time takes time
that’s exactly what they're trying to hold onto
and it is all you need.
We Americans have heroes
not patience.
We have special little places to put loved ones
not healing quick enough
children can’t stand to see their heroes fallen
shitting themselves
drooling
memories fading
bones brittle
and hearts patched up
So we put them in a safe place
sit them in a wheelchair
overlooking a beautiful lake
sending beautiful flowers
periodically
to brighten their room
It makes us feel compassionate
We roll out the fallen heroes
through back doors of airports
so the public can’t see the
causalities of freedom
Like an 18 year old soldier hit
by a road side bomb
that ripped off his legs
we can’t bear
to see our tough soldier
in pain of missing his boots
frantically reaching above his head
where he last saw them
instead
we support them by
sighing in grief
when we hear their name on T.V.
or applaud them in their return
with pale faces
and painkiller grins
It makes us feel compassionate
We do not want to hear that
Corporal Jones just had his 12th surgery
and is now starting an
18 month physical therapy session and
is back to reading green eggs and ham
We want an outcome
Not the process
We throw the word support around
like the word freedom
Support our troops
Support our friends
Support our loved ones
The word support means:
To bear the weight of
To hold up
To be capable of bearing; withstand
To keep from weakening or failing
To give of yourself and time
The hardest part in all of this is seeking no reward
We think support is
keeping them in our thoughts
Where?
between my ass itches and I need to get laid?
I’m here for you
Where?
between cell phone calls
text messaging and
Google Calendar appointments
When can you schedule me in?
Let me know if you need anything
I do
I need your bearing
Our problem isn’t lack of health care
It’s the lack of caring for someone's health
for life
the fragile parts
It’s the time given
to let bones fuse together or
withdrawals to dissipate
It’s dealing and recognizing we are so
very
v e r y
small
and easily
broken
We run faster than we heal
we shouldn’t wear watches
no longer gauge our days by
the ticking of the clock
but by our number of breaths and
a weak heart beating stronger with each breath
It’s simple
these days are simple
they move slow like concrete
asking for help is hard
a phone becomes
an eight' hundred pound weight
so please stop saying
you’ll pray for me
pray with me
don’t just ask
if there is anything you can do
just be there
show up
become patient
bear with me
